An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize