your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she peed on how many people?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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