You really coming over, don't trick.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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