its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
