He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
