i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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