I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
