Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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