I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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