if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
