My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
