I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
