You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
