That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
