Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
