You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
