That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize