just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
