yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize