By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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