Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
