thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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