I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
