i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
