I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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