what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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