I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
