She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize