Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
