Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
