just come out here and I will go home with you...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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