She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
