If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
