im having a threesome with these popsicles
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
