I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
