when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
