You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
