So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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