We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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