I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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