North Korea, Best Korea!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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