Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
