pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Two words: nipple clamps
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