That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
