I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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