so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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