Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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