Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
A bitchslap is in order.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize