You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
