That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
