i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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