how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
