come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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