NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't deserve a penis
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
