he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
