I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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