I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
