Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Gay?
German.
Pity.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
