I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
