girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you mean i was at the winter classic?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize