I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
