once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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