So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it because I queefed?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
