Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
