no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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