are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
