It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize