i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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