May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
